Two Sides of a Mirror
by Sapphire09
Summary: A girl was raped in his dream. A dream that is so real, it was more like vision. But, if it really is, why him? What is his connection with the girl in his dream? A girl, whose appearance so similar to him, like a mirror reflection?
1. Prologue : The Dream

**Sapphire09:** Another story from me! I know... I shouldn't do this when I have other story to think of...

But my hands are itching to upload this!

**Disclaimer :** I do not own Naruto.

**WARNING!!** Mentions of rape, ooc-ness, and probably grammar errors.

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See who I am,  
Break through the surface.  
Reach for my hand,  
Let's show them that we can  
Free our minds and find a way.  
The world is in our hands,  
This is not the end._

-- _See Who I Am _by_ Within Temptation_

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_Footsteps are running through an alley in fear. I was gasping for breaths. I can feel the pain burning on my right arm._

_I see it was bleeding._

_My knees were bruised, scraped. I can feel my tears are threatening to fall as I heard a group rapidly catching up to me._

_Why am I running? Why am I being chased?_

_I looked back suddenly. It was weird… It felt as if… There's someone else controlling my body, and all I can do is watching through my eyes. My feet are moving without my consent. Before long, I see myself trapped in an alley._

_My head snapped back. I see a mob holding anything that can be used as a weapon. Empty glass bottle, sticks, anything._

"_N-No…," I hear myself whispering in fear. My feet walked backwards as they kept nearing me. I then feel the cold wall behind me. I can't back away anymore._

"_P-Please… don't," I hear myself said again. What is happening here? It's as if I was seeing from another's eyes._

_One of them then lifted their weapon to me. It was an empty bottle. I can hear the sound of a glass crashing with a solid object, before I can feel some liquid pouring down from my head. After that, the other followed._

_In the end, I can only feel pity to whoever this person is. I can feel tears pouring down to my cheek, but I'm pretty sure I don't feel like crying. I tried to stop it, but I can't even control the rest of my body._

"_Please… stop," I heard myself said again. I then see a lecherous grin on the face of one man. I then got dragged by him. _

"_W-Where are you taking me?" I heard me asked. I didn't like the way this man's eyes glinted. When we reached an empty, abandoned building, I realized what he's going to do._

_He began to unbuckle his belt. I feel my eyes widen in fear. "N-No… NO!! NOO!!! STOOPP!!!"_

_The screams fell on deaf ears._

_When it was over, I just lay there, only covered by a ragged thin blanket. The garments I wore before, all scattered around and ripped._

_I then feel myself turning to my right, staring at a glass shard near me. I stare at the reflection. Short blonde hair, sapphire blue eyes… This person looks just like me… with dead, dull eyes… and marks of tears._

_The only difference that this person has whisker-like birthmarks on his/her cheek, and the last time I look at my reflection, I'm pretty sure I don't have them. _

_And I'm pretty sure I'm not a girl._

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**Sapphire09** : A mere prologue.... So, yeah... I don't expect you to review this chapter. It is still ambiguous.


	2. Chapter I : Revelation

**Sapphire09:** Most of the chapters here will be shorter than most of my stories. The reason is simple. I can't make myself to write longer chapters.

**DISCLAIMER:** I do not own Naruto, nor the song.

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**~|Two Sides of a Mirror|~**_  
by Sapphire09_

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**CHAPTER I**  
_Revelation_

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Lost in the darkness  
Hoping for a sign  
Instead there's only silence  
Can't you hear my screams?_

-- Somewhere _by _Within Temptation

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I woke up with a start. The nightmare… It's here again. I then sighed before looking around me. I slept inside the woods with grass as my bed and the sky as my ceiling. I then stared at the sky. It's still dark. It's still early dawn, I presume.

I don't remember since when I had those nightmares. As I grow, the person I've been in the dream also grows. Truthfully, I was scared at first. But, as the dream become frequent, I only watched. The person I've been turned to in the dream is always the same, a girl version of me with whisker-like marks on her cheek.

At first, I only dismissed it as a dream, but then I realized there's a pattern to it. In October 10th, those dreams are sure to appear, while it's random on any other days. The most frequent one was in my early childhood. It gradually become less frequent when I reached 6, but the frequency rise again as I turned 10, around a year ago.

But… this rape thing… is the first time. Usually, it'll be only beatings or such. But raping….

I can feel my hands are shaking. I can still feel it… Those feelings are crawling beneath my skin.

After I clean up my mess, meaning the remnants of the bonfire and also any signs of my stay there, I went to find a river for me to bathe in. Soon, I find one. I touched the water, and its freaking cold.

But it's enough to make the disgusting feeling go away. So, I took a bath there. The cold temperature made me gone numb, but at least I won't have to deal with the disgusting feeling I've had before.

After I'm sure I was cleansed, I dry myself with a Futon I learned myself by watching other ninja I passed by. After I dried up, I look towards the river. I saw spiky blonde hair and sapphire blue eyes, but no whisker marks. This is me.

I then took a white shape-faced steel full-face mask. It's purely in white, like a cold face of a porcelain doll. This is what I am.

I have no name, but I go with the name Deathmask, the youngest Ronin ever existed.

* * *

"_Sakura no hana wa itsu hiraku?"_

(When will the sakura flowers bloom?)

A sound of a child singing barely heard inside an abandoned building. Such dead, broken voice it was. A voice that shouldn't came out from the throat of a child.

"_Yama no osato ni itsu hiraku."_

(They bloom when they are in their mountain homes)

The voice continues to sing. Sobbing also mixed in the song. Sweet, yet grave.... Haunting.

"_Sakura no hana wa itsu niou?"_

(When will the sakura flowers smell fragrant?)

The child who sings it is barely covered. A thin dirty cloth is all that covered her small figure.

"_Warau nana no ko asobu koro." _

(When the laughing seven-year-old child plays)

Dull blue is the color of the child's eyes, a color that should've been bright and _alive_.

"_Sakura no hana wa itsu odoru?"_

(When will the sakura flowers dance?)

Blonde hair that reached her shoulder is messy. From the look of it, she should be around ten years old or eleven.

"_Utau nana no ko nemuru koro."_

(When the singing seven-year-old child sleeps)

As she sings, tears are streaming down to her whiskered cheeks. Her body felt cold, like dead. She hugged her knees tightly to her chest. She can still feel the pain. She is…. Disgusted.

"_Sakura no hana wa itsu kuchiru?" _

(When will the sakura flowers wilt?)

The feeling is still there, crawling under her skin. She can still remember the way that guy touched her…. She gripped tighter until her nails digging up the skin of her arms and causing them to bleed. How she wanted to skin herself alive right now….

"_Shinda nana no ko noboru koro."_

(When the dead seven-year-old child ascends)

For the first time, she wished she can curl there and die, to fade away from existence, forever. Her last line of song muffled when she hides her head between her knees.

Death sounded sweet for the female Jinchuuriki right now.

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"…Shinda nana no ko noboru koro…," I finished the song. Out of nowhere, I just felt like singing a song. I didn't know why, but I can feel helplessness swelling inside my chest.

Beneath my mask, I closed my eyes. I can remember the dream I had last night vividly.

Raped… That girl was raped….

And I felt every minute of her pain.

I'll be lying if I said I don't feel a little bit concerned.

Scratch that. I'm very concerned. I decided to look for that girl, if she even existed at all.

I then stare at the rising sun. The Land of Fire seems like a good place to start…

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**Sapphire09:** hhoho... who was that? What was their connection? Moreover, which one is Naruto? (It's obvious, by the way)

Yep! I decided on FemNaru in the last minute! Gomen for overyone who doesn't like femNaru....

By the way, the song that Naruto sings is the song from Jigoku Shoujo, tittled Sakura Uta. It was the song that Ai sung together with Sentarou in Jigoku Shoujo Episode 25.

Now, please tell me what you think!

**[Edit] January 16th, 2010:** The song that Naruto sung wasn't titled Sakura Uta. I'm sorry for the mistake. It was tittled Kizamararu Oto in Jigoku Shoujo Original Sountrack II, track number 21 (if I remember right).


	3. Chapter II : Simulacrum

**Sapphire09:** I updated ^^

I warn you not to expect much from this story... I simply wrote this for my fun. That's why the chapters are too short.

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CHAPTER II**  
_Simulacrum

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_Show me what it's like  
To be the last one standing  
And teach me wrong from right  
And I'll show you what I can be  
Say it for me  
Say it to me  
And I'll leave this life behind me  
Say it if it's worth savin' me_

_-- _Savin' Me _by_ Nickelback

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Again, I woke up with a start. The dream has gotten even more frequent. Sure, mostly it's beating.

But rapes also came once or twice, ever since that night. Every time that happens, I can't help but to feel _fear_.

I know that it wasn't my fear, but the girl's fear. If I counted right, the 'raped' dreams already came for three times in the past 13 months, including _last night._

I feel sick, really sick. I can't believe that there actually a human who is actually so heartless to attempt rape on a child barely reached 12. I just can't believe it… Children are supposed to be innocent.

I then stare at the dark sky. I can see light from the horizon. It'll be sunrise soon. I then closed my eyes again.

No… I should believe it. This world is full of inhumanity, as the humans that lived on this world can no longer be called as 'humans', for they've lost their humanity.

I glanced at my mask. A mask shaped like face, but blank. Like those of a doll's.

I have no name, no identity to begin with. I have been alone for as long as I can remember. I have learned to survive by my own. I have seen the world with my sky blue eyes. I may be a child in form, but I've never been a child inside. I've learned everything that I see.

In my journey, everything that I see never been pretty. Gore, assassinations, violations of what supposed to be human rights. Orphans, homeless children, all of them have no place on this bloodied ground. They were seen as the lowest of the low. They have no one to protect them, so people treat them however they wanted. They were made as slaves. Their innocence are taken away by force. They were forced to see the ugly reality of this world.

This world has lost its humanity… What I see in my dreams only confirms that.

I grabbed the mask and hang it around my neck as I stood up. I slipped a black haori around my body.

I was one of those children… That is, until my master took me in. He treated me like his own child, at least I think so. He taught me the ways of a Samurai, and soon I was a prodigy at my small age. However, he didn't give me a name, only a title; Deathmask.

I closed my eyes at the bitter memory. He, who I see like a father, betrayed my trust. I, who grew up in a place where I can't trust anyone, never had been the one who can forgive anyone that betrayed my trust.

I then glanced at my sword. The sword that he gave to me and the sword I used to end his life. I was eight years old at that time. He was my first kill.

After that, I ran away. The feeling of the guilt is overwhelming me, but I don't want to be used by anyone anymore. I have no regrets. Soon, I learned how to use chakra and learned to be a Ninja. I taught myself to be one. What used to be hakama were replaced with simple standard pants. But, I still wore a kimono top, but tied loosely around me underneath the simple black haori. Perhaps, that is why now I can be called as half ninja and half Samurai. But, I think my title as a Ronin is quite fitting for now.

I then went on a journey. In my sleep, I was accompanied my dreams of that girl, the girl whose look is just like mine. As an orphan who was mistreated, I can relate myself to her, I can sympathize. But, even then, there are some limits to what I can let go and whatnot. The rape is already too far.

I took my mask and put it around my face. I then clean the remnants of my camp, making sure there are no traces of me left there. As the sun rises from the horizon, I left the place to continue my search for the girl. I jumped from trees to trees in the woods of the Land of Fire.

I've tried to find her in the Land of Fire, yet I can't seem to find her. So, I tried looking in the Land of Wind and the Land of Thunder, yet I can't find her either. However, in my search in the Land of Fire, there's a place a missed to search. That is why now I'm back here.

I stopped when I arrived at a hill overlooking a village. I stare ahead of where I'm standing. I can see the village clearly from where I'm standing.

Konohagakure no Sato, the Village Hidden in the Leaf. I cannot enter there at that time since I didn't have the pass. Even now, I know I still can't.

I look at the gates and walls. I noticed that I can't force my way in. Just then, I saw some ninjas are about to leave the village. It looks like a team of genin is about to leave for a mission. I guess the old man near them is the client.

I took a glimpse at the team that about to leave. It consists of a boy around my age with spiky dark hair, with straight bangs framing his face, a girl with pink hair, and a man with grey hair and a cloth mask that hides the lower half of his face. My guess is that the man is their Jounin sensei.

I then noticed that there's another one. A girl—I believe, with short blonde hair and—disturbingly—lifeless blue eyes. I noticed the whisker marks, and the obvious similarity of her face with mine. Her hair is just like what I see in my dream last night. It's short, straight, yet messy, giving an unruly spiky look to her hair. Although she looks so much like a boy, she can't deceive me. If only she would comb her hair, I believed it would makes her look cuter, I mused.

I smirked under my mask before I leaped down to follow them.

'_Bingo.'

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**Sapphire09:** Sorry if you think it doesn't make any sense....

You can expect the next chapter will be out soon. Okay, not that soon, but not too long either (I think...)

It's still nice if you tell me what you think of this story, despite the lack of description...


	4. Chapter III : Yuumei

**Sapphire09:** ...I don't feel to say anything now... Just read...

My warning is the same with the previous chapter.... *sigh...*

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CHAPTER III**  
_Yuumei

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_The sacrifice  
Was much to hide  
Our greed just made us all go on  
We try to hide what we fear inside  
Today is the end of tomorrow_

_-- _Forsaken _by_ Within Temptation

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"Oi, runt! Are you alright? You were a loudmouth yesterday. What makes you fell silent?" their client, the old man, asked with annoyance and hidden concern. However, the person that he's talking to doesn't seem to respond. I raised my eyebrows then in amusement.

"Naruto-kun. Is there something wrong? You've been acting weird since this morning," now it was the grey-haired Jounin who asked. Even the dark-haired boy is shooting glances once in a while. However, the matter of their concern only glanced at them before staring ahead again.

"Naruto, as much as I love the fact that you're being silent now for a change, but the way you're doing this is scary. What's going on?" pinky asked with a hint of worry. However, there's only silence that greeted their questions.

I then tried to catch the blonde's eyes, and what I see there made me narrowed my eyes. Those eyes… I know those eyes. I see them often in my journey. These eyes... were the eyes of someone who gave up living.

I then sighed in understanding. The third attempt was last night, so I think she's still in trauma. Especially that… last night was also followed with an uncomfortable talk. I think that 'talk' is the one that breaks her the most.

Who wouldn't if you were told that your existence have no meaning at all?

A human will unconsciously try to find his or her part in life. They need to know their meaning in life. Will it be through friends, family, or dream. I know that since the beginning, she has been questioning on her meaning. She knew that she may have no meaning, but she refused to believe that. But, to be told that right on her face, is like forcing her to remember that she's only... a _ghost_, a... burden of life.

Last night… I felt what she felt. She tried to numb herself; make a doll out from her. But, she can't. Every time it happens, she felt as if a part of her was destroyed. It seems… last night was the last straw….

"You've taken so many venoms from your life. I hope you won't wilt before you get the chance to bloom… _chiisai no hana_," I muttered soundlessly. I decided to keep following them.

They then passed a small bridge before they went past a pile of puddle.

'_Wait…,'_ I realized. _'I don't remember any rain happens around here.'_

I keep watching, yet still curious. Just after they were a few steps away, two figures appeared from the puddle and attacked the jounin. Hmph… I can't believe I have to see them here.

"Kakashi-sensei!" the pink-haired girl yelled, while the dark-haired boy and Naruto widened their eyes.

'_Why didn't she scream?'_ I thought in realization. I decided to watch more. After the jounin is out, they went to the blonde. "Now, it's your turn," I heard them said. Naruto turned to them slowly, but I don't think it was fear that etched on her face. It was more like… a simple mild surprise. She is simply standing there as both nins attacks her.

I ask myself then. Why she didn't try to block? I don't think it was because she froze up. Much to my surprise, she was saved by the dark-haired boy. Their attackers then went to their client, who got fenced by the pink-haired girl. As they dashed to their client, they went pass Naruto and injured her hand with their poisonous claw. The boy then went to pink-haired girl, but he can't do anything to stop them either.

Just then, the one-eyed jounin appeared and save them. He easily stops both nins. I realized he used the Kawarimi no Jutsu before he got shredded.

"Naruto, sorry I didn't help you right away. I didn't mean for you to get hurt. I just didn't think you'd freeze up like that," I heard him said. I narrowed my eyes then. Just how blind can they be? Freeze up? Ha! As if. For me, it was more like she was _hoping_ to get herself killed.

I darted my line of sight to the blonde again. I found myself asking. I've seen many orphans in my journey. Sure, I sympathize them, but just that. I never got attached to them. I simply see them as the unfortunates. So, why do I care about this girl well-being? I only knew her from my dreams. This is my first time meeting her face-to-face.

I shake my head then. I may be cold, but I'm not a scum. I felt her pain, so I can't ignore what I know. I can't ignore her pain which I felt too. She's different. I don't feel the other's pains, but I felt hers, _literary_. I can _empathize_ with her.

It's not that I'm nice. I merely can't ignore this mysterious bond between me and her.

"You're not hurt, are you?" the dark haired boy asked with a smirk. "Scaredy cat."

I realized he tried to annoy the blonde, to get some reaction from her, but it seems his attempt failed. Naruto looks away with that empty stare of hers before she turned back to them.

"Naruto, don't move too much. Their claws have poison on them. We need to take it out from you quickly," Kakashi said, still holding the nins. Naruto stared at him for a second before she turned her head away. After he told her not to move around, he asked Tazuna about the ninjas. There's no C-rank mission that involved fighting ninjas, after all.

After their client told them everything, the jounin decided to stop the mission since it has risen. I then see panic in Naruto's eyes. She doesn't want to get back to the village yet. No…

"We should get back. We need to take Naruto back to the village and get the poison out from his wound, too," the pink-haired girl said then. Wait… _his_? Don't tell me that… they don't know her real gender? I can't believe that her teammates can be _that_ blind.

I can see disappointment in Naruto's eyes before she takes out a kunai. She then stabbed the kunai to her palm, where the wound is. She flinched, but I know she has been in a condition far worse than that. I know that for sure. I've _felt_ it.

Her action got their attention. They mostly got widened eyes and shock on their faces. Her narrowed eyes as she held the stabbed palm up got her message across.

She turns around and starts to walk again in slower pace as she pulls out the kunai and letting her blood fell to the ground. It as if like she was saying, _"There, it was taken care of. Now let's continue!"_

I narrowed my eyes. Sure, I admit that her courage and determination is something to be admired at. But… is it really determination? Or was it something else?

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**Sapphire09**: ...review? I know... I doesn't make sense, does it? Like I've said, I write this story only for fun. That will explain the short chapters.

Sorry for my lack of... enthusiasm?.... *sigh*

_Chiisai no hana:_ little flower.

_Yuumei_: the present and the other world, dark and light.


	5. Chapter IV : Hotaru

**Sapphire09 :** Another update! Enjoy!

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CHAPTER IV**  
_Hotaru

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_I hold my breath as this life starts to take its toll  
I hide behind a smile as this perfect plan unfolds  
But oh, God, I feel I've been lied to  
Lost all faith in the things I have achieved_

_-- _Away From Me _by_ Evanescence

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"Naruto!" the jounin called. Naruto stopped as she turned back slightly. He took her hand and began bandaging it. "If you don't stop the bleeding, you'll die because of the lack of blood," he said. I can see she mouthed _"I know,"_ but I don't think the Jounin saw it.

I then raised my eyebrows when seeing her wound healed so fast. I'm not sure, but I think it has connection to the way her village treated her. I wonder what…

They then left the place, leaving the missing nins tied there. I jumped down when I'm sure the Konoha team won't sense me. I smirked in satisfaction under my mask as they lift their heads and look at me with such surprise.

"Deathmask?" I heard them muttered in disbelief.

"I'll let both of you go if you'll tell me what I want to know," I said in monotone. I see them nodded without hesitation. It seems that it was a right decision to make friends when I was in Kiri years ago.

I quickly jumped from trees to trees until I arrived at the lake that is surrounding the Land of Waves. I see that they already near the other side. I bend down, before I let myself sank underwater before I swam to the where they are.

Soon, they arrived at the shore. It took me awhile to get to the land without them noticing. When I arrived, they already faced a jounin that I knew too. Momochi Zabuza, the Demon of the Hidden Mist. When I arrived, I see the grey-haired jounin is trapped in a water prison and Zabuza is about to kill the blonde that I just found. So, I jumped from my hiding place and counter his giant cleaver with my own katana before I hit him, dispersing the water clone. I can feel many eyes widened in surprise upon my inference.

"Deathmask…," Zabuza said. I can see recognition in his eyes. "Why are you here?"

I glanced back. I can see the blonde's eyes widened in surprise. I can also see her slight irritation upon my interference. It's almost like that she was waiting to be sliced.

'_I see…. So that's why…._' I thought in realization. I turned back to Zabuza again.

"I finally found the flower I've seen in my dreams. I don't want her to be cut before she can bloom. She was weak enough," I said in monotone. Zabuza raised his eyebrows and glanced behind me. He then narrowed his eyes in understanding.

"I see…" he said. He then releases the jounin before he jumped to me. He then turned to the other Konoha ninjas that stared at us in confusion before he turned back to me.

"She's the girl?" Zabuza asked. He already knew about my bond with her. I sheathed my sword as I walk in circle around Naruto. Her eyes are following me in curiosity and suspicion. I think I also see the slight fear. When I got behind her, I threw my right arm around her shoulder and touched her face. She flinched.

"Yes, she's the girl," I replied. She shivered in fear under my touch. I turned to her teammates again to see their unspoken question. _Naruto is a girl?_

I then see the Jounin dashed to me and held a kunai to my throat. His hair is still damped. "I suggest that you leave my student now, whoever you are," he said. I narrowed my eyes beneath my mask as I slowly let the girl go. I can see he's constantly switching his focus from me to Zabuza.

"Need help?" Zabuza asked. I shook my head as a response. I then turn my head to the grey-haired jounin.

"I assure you I mean no harm," I said to him. He didn't quite believe me, so I added, "…if I do mean to harm your student, I won't bother to protect her from Zabuza."

"Naruto is a _boy_," he said through gritted teeth. From the corner of my eye, I can see Naruto is frowning. I can also see her hidden disbelief. "In my eyes, the blonde is a girl. A flower that is about to fade and wither away," I said surely in monotone. I can see those blue eyes widened in surprise. The jounin slowly release me.

"It seems that now we're not in a very neutral ground, Deathmask," Zabuza said as he eyed me amusedly. I shake my head. "Yes, we are. Their mission has nothing to do with me. However, I want you to postpone your attack at least for a week," I said. "It seems this little flower is thinking about suicide ever since she started this mission."

That makes all of them have the expression of shock etched on their face before they snapped their heads toward the blonde. I can see Naruto's eyes widened before she bowed her head down and let her bangs covered her eyes.

"How'd you know…?" she asked in a very soft voice. This is the first time I heard her voice since I followed them. Sure enough, her voice is just like how I remembered it in my dreams.

"Wait! So, that's true!? W-Why…?" Sakura asked in disbelief as she turned to her again. Naruto's face has been covered with a transparent emotionless mask. But… I can see it.

She's silently grieving inside.

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**_Glossary:_**

_Hotaru : Firefly_

**Sapphire09:** Finally, they meet!! By the way, to remind you, Deathmask is not the ronin's real name. It's only a title, since his mask is pale colored and... 'dead-looking'... Argh! I'm not good in describing!! So... yeah. His real name will be revealed later when the bond between him and Naruto is cleared.

(SPOILER for THIS STORY: Naruto isn't her real name. The reason why will be revealed later.)

So-o? How is it? I'm sorry if this story is typical or boring....


	6. Chapter V : Kokoro no Kotoba

**Sapphire09: **A new chapter!!

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CHAPTER V**  
_Kokoro no Kotoba

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_Don't tear me down  
For all i need  
Make my heart a better place  
Give me something I can believe  
Don't tear me down  
You've opened the door now  
Don't let it close_

_-- _All I Need _by_ Within Temptation

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"This place is not exactly the best place to discuss this," I said to the pink haired girl. I can see her calmed a bit, but her intensive curiosity is still there. I turned to Zabuza then. I can see he smirked beneath that bandage that covered the lower part of his face.

"Very well, Deathmask. I'll take my leave." He then turned to Kakashi. But, the said person didn't turn to Zabuza. His visible eye is still glued to me. "I'll see you in a week, Hatake Kakashi," he said before he disappeared.

"Tell me. Who are you?" the Jounin asked. I can feel their eyes are staring at me now.

"I'm merely a Ronin, nothing more," I said in monotone. The jounin then turned to me. I see his visible eye is narrowing in suspicion. I then feel someone tapped my shoulder.

It's the blonde girl. I idly noticed that her height and mine isn't too different. I'm taller by a few centimeters, I guess. She didn't look at me, but I can feel her curiosity, and frustration.

"You didn't answer my question," she said in whisper as she gripped her hand on the back of my shirt.

"Naruto, stay away from him! We don't know whether he's an enemy or an ally!" the Jonin warned. But, I can feel her grip tightens. I can hear her muttering something silently. I think she said something like _"Since when do you care?"_ or something along those lines.

I'm not very surprised by the fact that she seemed more comfortable with me rather than with her own team.

"How I know doesn't matter. One thing for sure, I can't allow you to kill yourself," I said evenly. She suddenly pushed me and forced me to look at her. I can see her hysteria.

"Who the hell are you!? No one even care whether I exist or not, so why is a stranger like you have to decide whether I should live or not!? It's my life that I'm about to end! What difference should it makes whether I'm dead or alive!?" she yelled hysterically. I can see tears welling up in the corner of her eyes. Her teammates and her sensei only stare at her in surprise. Maybe it was because she's breaking in front of them? Their client, however, only looked at them in confusion.

"I know what happened in the night 13 months ago," I said. I see her stiffened. Her team then looked at us in genuine confusion and curiosity.

"Eh…?" Her eyes widened in surprise. "No… No, you don't," she said in denial. She backs away a few steps.

"You know nothing…," she said again, now with a glare. I glanced to her teammates again to see their frustration, since they understand nothing of our conversation.

"The third time was last night, right?" I said again. Now, I see her surprise. She gulped then.

"H-How…?" she asked in whisper. I can hear her heart beating faster. It seems she finally believed I knew.

I know that I'm being insensitive by bringing that up just to convince her not to commit suicide. I've never been a sensitive guy, anyway. I realized I may do more harm than good, but I don't know any other way. I've never been a comforting type, anyway. I don't even now why I won't let her do what ever she wants.

I don't know why I cared if she died. If she died, I won't be having those nightmares again, right? Added to that, by dying, the girl wouldn't have to feel anymore pain. I'm practically doing her a favor if I just let her be.

I sighed again. I already know why, but I refuse to admit it. Ever since I killed my master, I lost my reason to live. I wander this world no better than a ghost. I wander, kill, took missions, and kill again.

But then, once in a while, the girl in my dream wasn't tortured. But rather, happy…

In her early life, she had a true determination, a dream. That goes on until her when she was nine. Gradually, she began to lose hope. And when she was 10, she lived behind a mask of what she used to be.

Few months after I killed my master, the girl in my dream was beaten again. But then, I can feel her hope, and that hope is unknowingly flowing into me too. And the hope I felt that time… is the one that kept me alive until now.

I'm indebted to her for the fact that I'm still alive until now. I blame the mysterious bond I have with her for the fact that I'm getting soft.

"How I know is not important. But…," I trailed off as I turned to her. I look at her softly; although I know she can't see it due to my mask, "…Please believe in me."

Or maybe, I just wanted to see her smile again.

* * *

**_Glossary:_**

_Kokoro no Kotoba:_ Words of Heart (i think... Is that makes sense?)

**Sapphire09: **So... How is it...?


	7. Chapter VI : Kyoumei

**Sapphire09: **I really thank you all for reading this story this far... I'm really glad that this story is really well-liked...

**

* * *

CHAPTER VI**  
_Kyoumei

* * *

_

_Take a look into the past see all the things I've tried  
Looking for a truth inside but only finding pain  
See these deep and painful scars, cutting to the bone  
Do you want to look like me? With a broken, empty life_

_-- _Mistakes _by_ Kutless

* * *

Tazuna took us back to his house. I ignored the questioning gazes that came from her team, and their client. I also ignored the look of disbelief and the annoyed look that came from her team. The fact that I walked in quite a distance beside them with Naruto walking nearer to me rather than to them didn't sit well with them, it seems.

Not like it was my fault that she prefers to be near me than them. Maybe it was because of the mysterious bond I had with her? Still... it can also be something else.

"You do realize that I am a stranger, right?" I asked in a whisper without looking to her. She looks up to me before she turns her attention back to the road. "I know," she answered.

I can feel the stares from her team. It seems that they are curious on what we're talking about, but they don't dare on coming so close. The only one who has the chance on eavesdropping is the grey-haired jonin. He is the one that looks the calmest from any of them, especially with that book on his hand. However, from his occasional stares and his alert posture, I know it is on the contrary.

"You know… Usually, if a stranger knew so much about someone, you'll call that person a stalker or a suspicious person, even maybe a pervert. Usually, you'll avoid that kind of person, not walking near him instead of walking near your own teammates," I said as a matter of fact to the girl beside me, ignoring the obvious discomfort from her team. She then glanced at me again.

"I'm pretty sure that you think I knew too much," I said again. She then looks down.

"I know… I'll be lying if I said I'm not wary of you," she said. I then turned to her in curiosity. "But…," she began again. Now, she's looking at me. "…I believe you. I don't even know why, but I trust you more than I trust my team now," she said. A small smile appeared on her lips now. "Do you know why?" she asked me.

"Is it because I already know your greatest secret?" I answered. She nodded then.

"I don't know how you know, but frankly, I don't care. I'm curious, but I don't really care. Knowing that someone knew about it makes me feel agitated, but also relieved in the same time," she said. I didn't give her any respond, but I knew she knew I understand. I heard her chuckled bitterly then.

"Did you know how hard it was to look at my teammates after what happened last night? They were supposed to be my teammate… but…," she trailed off. I can see her small smile disappeared and now replaced by sadness. Last night….

I could hear she screamed inside her head. She screamed and screamed, but still she was silent. She already knew no one would come. Inside her head, she called for her teams, hoping for them to hear her silent screams…

"_Kakashi-sensei… Sakura… Sasuke… TASUKETE!! Onegai… ONEGAI!!"_

She knew it was futile. Inside, she was screaming with all her might, but outside… she couldn't speak a word, afraid to cry instead. She knew that she shouldn't blame her team. They knew nothing at all… But I know she's still bitter about it. I can't blame her for it.

They were her teammates. They were supposed to help each other, right? Yet, they can't even see her gender. They can't see pass through her mask. Not even their sensei. And he was supposed to be a Jonin!

What kind of teammates are they?

"I know nothing of you at all," Naruto suddenly said. "But… why does it seems that I already know you for a long time?" she continued. I can hear her confusion in that sentence.

So maybe she does preferred to be near me because of the mysterious bond.

"I can't even believe myself that I can talk to you this casually…," she said again, "…when minutes ago I can't even let out my voice properly in front of my teammates. Every time I tried to talk to them…," she said, "It felt as if I was about to cry instead of to speak."

"You haven't cried at all, have you?" I said. She then looked at me with that surprised look before she turned the ground again. "Just how much did you know?" she asked as she forced a chuckle.

"Perhaps too much," I answered in my usual monotone.

"That much?" she asked back. "Heh… Figured…"

I then glanced at her and to her team. I know why I'm comfortable with her. I know her for almost all my life, even though I can't say the same for her. That's why I have no problem for her walking beside me. But, it seems our closeness is bringing discomfort to her team. I can see that all of them are frowning, either in suspicion or in irritation and confusion.

"You never told your team about it, did you?" I asked her. I knew the answer already, but I just wanted her to speak more. I don't want her to be silent again. She was surprised at my question, but then she shakes her head.

"I told you… I can't even speak to then without holding my tears," she answered. I then see that her team is seriously irritated. I can probably imagine their feelings right now.

Naruto refused to speak to them, her teammates, since the beginning of the mission. But then I, a stranger, appeared and suddenly said that Naruto was thinking of committing suicide. And now, we got all casual. We even idly chat like old friends. Before I appeared, Naruto looked lifeless to them. But now, she looked almost normal.

Yeah… They're totally irritated, confused, and so unappreciated.

Probably… Even worried… and maybe a bit guilty?

Hmph… Who wouldn't feel that? Especially when it turned out the one you thought you know is never been the one you always thought.

I guess now they understand the phrase 'look underneath the underneath' is not made merely to be a cool advice.

* * *

**_Glossary:_**

_Kyoumei : _Resonance

_TASUKETE!! Onegai… ONEGAI!! : _HELP!! Please... PLEASE!!_  
_

**Sapphire09:** Is this chapter as good as my previous one? Better? Worse? Or incomparable?

PS: Just to clear things up, this story is not team 7 bashing. I never tried to bash any characters.


	8. Chapter VII : Let Me Be, This Filthy Me

**Sapphire09:** when did I last updated this? Oh well *shrugs*

Anyway, I hope there's still someone that reads this story...

**

* * *

**

**CHAPTER VII**  
_Let Me Be, This Filthy Me_

_

* * *

All this black and cruel despair_

_This is an emergency_

_Don't you hide your eyes from me_

_Open them and see me now_

_-- _Clowns Can You See Me Now _by_ tAtu

* * *

"We're here. Now, tell us what you meant by Naruto is a girl and about her wanting to commit suicide. Also… tell us who are you," the one-eyed Jounin asked demandingly as soon as the client, I soon learned that his name is Tazuna, left all of us alone in a room inside his house.

"Why ask me?" I asked back. "As teammates, you're supposed to notice these kinds of things," I added as I look at them behind my mask. "As for myself… I don't think you need to know that yet." I see them flinched. Naruto is looking at me worriedly.

She knew that she is the one that we are talking about, but she still can't speak in front of her teammates. I guess it's better if they don't see her cry…

"We only became teammates recently," the girl with pink hair said. "I think it's normal if we don't know much about each other," she tried to defend herself and the rest of the team. Seeing me silent, and Naruto still impassive, she added. "We don't know much about our sensei either." I scoffed at her attempt in justify their lack in understanding between their own team.

"Pathetic," I said. Those three seemed offended since they looked at me with angry, but confused, eyes.

"What?" the silver haired sensei asked in confusion. "What did you just said?"

"You guys are pa-the-tic," I said again while giving pressure in every syllable. I see them getting angrier. I narrowed my eyes at them, although they can't see it.

"You guys truly lacked understanding. No wonder that your teamwork were so bad. Even criminals have better teamwork than you are," I said. Now it was them that narrowed their eyes at me.

"Now, now, Deathmask, but you can't just badmouth our team like that," the jounin said calmly as his only visible smile is turning into an upside u and his brows, I can see, turning in a horizontal line. I smirked under my mask after hearing his statement.

"I see you didn't deny my words then," I said again. The pink haired girl then glared at me, while the grey-haired jounin, although I can't see it beneath his mask, is frowning with my statement. I feel the worried gaze of my little flower beside me.

"Listen, Deathmask. This is our team's problem, and I don't think it has anything to do with you. All we want to know is whether Naruto is really a girl, or not. Also, the reason why she wanted to commit suicide, if she really did wanted to," the jounin tried again.

I then gave them the nastiest glare I could muster, though I doubt they can see it through my mask. But, I know they can feel it. I saw the two genin flinched. However, I then also saw the dark-haired genin glared, before he smirked.

"Why don't we just ask her then?" the black haired genin said as he turned to Naruto, glaring. I can see Naruto gulped and backed away from the genin's gaze. When the genin noticed that Naruto still won't say anything, he added, "If you don't want to tell us, show us then."

I narrowed my eyes to the black haired genin for what he is implying. I can see Naruto widened her eyes at him, shocked for his words.

"Unzip you jacket and show us your figure," the black haired genin repeated. I can see Naruto's hands clenched and shaking beside me. It seems that her team also realized her hesitation.

"What's wrong? I did not ask you to be naked. I'm pretty sure you had an undershirt, and I guess we can see your figure if you merely release your jacket," the dark haired genin said again, this time with a smirk. "Or, you were just lying and you are a boy," he accused.

My head is still facing them, but my eyes glanced to the girl beside me. Her hands clenched so hard and she is shaking tremendously. Her face reddened by shame.

What a fool the boy in front of me is.

I know that underneath that orange jacket, there's only a bare torso. If she dares to unzip her jacket, it will surely proof that she is a girl. But, she won't be able to take the shame. It was different than when she used her 'Oiroke no Jutsu', because this time, it'll be her own body.

Why she didn't wear any shirt underneath, you ask? Well, that's because her last piece of shirt has been ripped by the men that raped her in her last night in Konoha.

Damned bastards.

The feeling of those nights, I knew she'll feel that again if she even dares to let her collarbone exposed. She's also afraid for the marks that those men left on her neck and chest will be seen by them.

And now, this foolish boy asked for her to show the very thing that plague her minds and her nightmares.

I then heard her spoke to her teammates for the very first time after she banged her right fist on the nearest object, the wall, thus creating a crack in size of her palm. Her left hand trailed on the zipper of her jacket.

I can see that she is shaking in rage.

She pulled the zipper down quickly, only to her stomach. But, that alone made her team can clearly see her bare chest and her cleavage. That alone can make her team blushed, before their expression turned to a shocked one.

From their shocked expression, I know that they can also see the reddened marks around her neck and chest. Naruto's expression is between furious and disappointment, also breaking.

"You wanted me to show you, so be it."

* * *

**Sapphire09:** Just to clear things up, she didn't reveal it because she wanted to. She was tired to be accused as a liar, and the thing that happened the night before still haunting her mind. That's why she can't think clearly and let her rage and disappointment take over.

But, if you can think of another better theory, please let me know ^^


	9. Chapter VIII : Lie To Me, This Dream

**Sapphire09:** well, sorry for the long wait :)

Now, please enjoy this story. I'm sorry for any faults in grammar and maybe spelling :)

**

* * *

CHAPTER VIII**  
_Lie To Me, This Beautiful Dream

* * *

_

_Bound at every limb by my shackles of fear  
Sealed with lies through so many tears  
Lost from within, pursuing the end  
I fight for the chance to be lied to again_

_-- _Lies _by_ Evanescence

* * *

I take off my kimono top and put it around Naruto, covering her exposed chest, exposing my own built, but slender, torso. My sudden act broke them through they shocked state, it seemed. I then turn her away, so now her back is what they saw. My right hand is still on Naruto's right shoulder. I can still feel her shoulders shaking.

"Those marks…," the jounin muttered loud enough for me to hear it. His serious eyes made me realize that he is no longer playing around. I can see the two genin's confused stares at the jounin.

I never hoped for any twelve years old child to know what exactly those mark means, anyway.

"How…?" the grey haired jounin said again. His shocked stare is now focused on Naruto's turned back. I glanced to see that Naruto has a bitter look on her face as she bit her lip. It looks like she was about to cry.

So, I speak up.

"One thing I can say that it wasn't with her consent," I said ambiguously, without looking away from Naruto's face. However, I know that statement alone already explained so many things. From the jounin's expression that I see from the corner of my eyes, I'm sure of it.

"What were those marks meant?" the girl with hair colored in pink asked. I can also see that the dark haired boy glanced at the jounin with curious stare. The jounin had a hard time answering it, but then again, it is quite hard to tell twelve years old things as serious as _that_, ninja or not.

In the midst of his anxiety, the grey-haired jounin turned to Naruto's turned back again. His eyes are reflecting emotions that I can't decipher. Perhaps it was anger? Or maybe sadness? Or regret? Or even something else entirely?

"Naruto, how… when did you…," Kakashi tried to ask, ignoring the question of his other students. Naruto's eyes narrowed beside me.

"Does it even matter?" I heard Naruto said beside me. Her voice is breaking, on verge of crying. "It already happened, and there's nothing else that could be done." I see her hands are still clutching tightly to the front of my kimono that she wore as she speaks.

Silence then washed over the room as no one talked. A woman, whose name was Tsunami, if I remembered right, came into the room where we are to tell us that dinner is ready.

"Then, I shall take my leave," I said. I then can see all of them, but Naruto, turned to me in surprise. I wasn't surprised that Naruto didn't turn to me in shock; instead she only briefly glanced to me and whispered, "I wish you have a safe trip." I know why she acted that way.

The strength of her heart is true. If not, she won't be able to handle her life for this long. She was determined to live her life to the fullest, but even the strongest man can be weary after using his strength for so long. It wasn't much different with Naruto. The determination, the only thing she had, was no longer enough, as things began to escalate to a situation where she needs more support.

I guess knowing that there is someone, though a stranger, that knew her problem and were there for her, even just for a while, is enough to bring back a little strength she had lost, enough for her to push the thought of suicide away. The dread is still there, deep inside her heart, but at least she won't throw her life foolishly for now.

But, I know that even though she was okay with me leaving, she preferred for me to stay, albeit the fact that I am a stranger at mind. However, she had been living alone for so long; she already used to keep her distance from people, afraid to get hurt if she ever gets attached.

But she already attached herself to me without either of us knowing.

She can accept my leave openly, not because I was nothing for her. But, it was because she believed me, though she is still in doubt, to come back for her when she needs me.

And I'm surprised to find that I have no problem with that.

Still, I know that she still feels insecure. That's why I passed her on my way, bend down to her ear, and whispered.

"_You'll see me again someday. That's a promise,"_ I whispered, practically grinning under my mask. I can see her widen her eyes in surprise before I went past her. I didn't look back to see her reaction towards my words.

But, I hope it was enough for her to wait for me, before she gives up completely again.

* * *

"What are you doing here?" a voice said gruffly from behind me. I turned my face a little, only enough for me to caught a glimpse of the figure behind me. I can see a man with bandages covering the lower half of his face and a headband around his head, in which the Mist's insignia was carved. I can also see a giant cleaver behind his back. I see his expression filled with annoyance, especially with his well-built arms crossed in front of his chest.

That is, before I ignored him and went inside a room with a wooden door that's just in front of me.

"O-oi! Deathmask!" I heard him calling out to me.

"It's not like that this is the first time, isn't it?" I heard another voice said from somewhere behind me. I ignored it to in favor of studying the room I just picked. It's not really big and it's bare with only a single bed inside, on the far end of the opposite side of the room, at the corner, with a dresser just beside it.

"Yeah…," a third voice agreed with the second voice. I then put my belongings, which weren't much to begin with, on the bed. I also slipped my mask off and throw it to the bed.

"Aren't you guys supposed to be somewhere?" I heard the gruff voice said, before I heard the feet of the owners of the second and the third voice gone, scrambling away.

"And here I thought you're staying with them tonight," I heard the first voice said again. As he said that, I can hear the annoyance from his tone.

"I'm not in the mood to be spied on when I'm asleep," I replied as I slipped on a black spandex shirt with turtleneck collar and sleeveless to cover my bare chest. My back is still facing the speakers, which I felt still standing near the door.

"So you decided to crash in here? Wow, I don't know I've opened a free lodge," the first voice said sarcastically. I guess he knew that I'm ignoring his comments, since he started a new topic.

"Anyway, I was rather surprised that '_Hana-chan'_ belonged to Konoha. Had someone told me that before, I would laugh at that person's face," he said. After I was finished putting my shirt, I reached for my belongings on the bed, about to find my kimono top. I then remembered I left it with that girl, Naruto.

"I was unsure too, at first. But then, I guess we really should look underneath the underneath, Zabuza," I replied. I then turned to him and sat on the edge of the bed. I noticed him looking at me with a speculating stare. I raised my right eyebrow slightly then, asking a silent question.

"No, it's just that—I can't believe I didn't notice—you look so much alike with that _little flower_, it freaked me out now that I realized."

I blinked owlishly at him. Of course I knew that already, and I thought I already told him about that? I think he knew it too, since he continued, "Yes, I remembered that you already told me about it, but I never thought both of you will look this similar. Just remove her whisker-like marks, and she'll be able to impersonate you in look."

I sighed. Well, the similarity is quite terrifying, I must say. It got me thinking then…

How? Why? What…?

It's not like I haven't thought about it. How'd that girl invade my dreams? Why me? What's our connection? I've always been asking about it, but I've never wanted the answer so much like now.

Maybe that's because I see hear for real now, so I know for sure that she is real, no longer a dream. The dreams I had, weren't nightmares, but really happened. The truth that I already knew seemed to be so surreal now. That's why…

I need to know the answer.

* * *

**Sapphire09: **I make this chapter a bit longer than usual, which I believe almost none of you will notice**.** Yeah, that's my way of saying sorry for the long update.... I was too focused on my BleachNaruto crossover fic, **Conflicts**, so... yeah.

Once again, I'm sorry....


	10. Chapter XI : Memento Vivere

**Sapphire09:** A new chapter! Hope you'll enjoy this!

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* * *

CHAPTER IX**_  
Memento Vivere

* * *

_

_A prayer that disappeared  
In the wind, stirred up__  
Still, the light is continue  
As I am tangled many times  
By the hand that getting cold_

_-- _Suna no Oshiro _by_ Kanon Wakeshima (translation)

* * *

I went for a walk around the forest, my everyday routine every early dawn. As I went out from Zabuza's hideout, I saw a young girl—no, boy. I noticed him as Zabuza's subordinate. The first time I noticed him was last night, when Gatou and his bodyguards came and demanded the bridge builder's head. I hid myself, so that no one noticed my presence, especially Gatou. I remembered that Zabuza asked this young boy earlier, just before I left, to find some medicinal herbs for his two other subordinate, the Demon Brothers, and for himself too.

Even though I did interfere, that Konoha Jounin did do quite a number on them…

I ignored him and went on my way, to a clearing deep inside the woods. I noticed that the atmosphere around the clearing is very soothing and calming. The humidity around it only complemented the calming atmosphere. As I went closer to the middle of the clearing, I noticed a figure lying there. It looks like that person was sleeping.

I recognized the figure as Naruto.

I frowned when I realized it and I was about to go to her, but then I remembered I didn't wear my mask. I don't want to reveal this…weird similarity to her just yet. I want to know the answer first before I can tell her anything. That's why I hurriedly jumped up to the tree branch on one of the tree that's surrounding the area and hide. I did it as silent as I could. I can't have her waking up on me.

Besides… she looked so relaxed in her sleep, and I don't want to disturb it. She deserved to have a peaceful sleep once in a while.

As I hid myself behind the branches of the tree, I sensed another chakra signature is coming closer to the clearing. I noticed it as the signature of the young boy I saw earlier. If I remember right, his name was Haku. From my position, I can clearly see everything that's happening beneath me.

That young boy, Haku, went over to Naruto and woke her up gently. Slowly, I can see her eyelids rose, revealing a pair of blue eyes, which—I gravely noticed—isn't much livelier than yesterday. I see those blue orbs slowly glancing towards the young boy.

"You'll catch a cold if you sleep here," the young boy said gently.

"Ah… right," Naruto replied softly before she slowly straightened herself. The Haku boy smiled as he watched her.

"If I may ask, what's a young girl like you doing, sleeping in the middle of a forest like this?" he asked when Naruto positioned herself in a sitting position. From her expression when she turned to the boy, I can see that she is surprised.

"…I could ask the same for you," she retorted with a small frown. Somehow, I sensed that she was refraining from asking how he knew her gender, when those who knew him for more than a year couldn't even figure that out. Haku let out a soft chuckle upon hearing her reply.

"I'm looking for medicinal herbs. Would you like to help me?" he asked, smiling. Naruto didn't answer right away, but soon enough she asked, "What kind of herb?"

Haku then showed her a picture of the herb he is looking for from a medical book that he had brought. After inspecting it and memorize the details, I heard Naruto asked, "Where does this usually grow?"

I listened in as Haku began explaining about where to find the herb and showed her a sample of it, using the one he picked up earlier. Soon enough, I notice them going on separate ways, splitting up in search of the herb. It was also then I noticed that Naruto isn't good at memorizing things, but after a few trials and errors, she remembered it.

Around twenty minutes or so, they returned to the clearing and put all the herbs they had found in the basket that Haku had brought. Finished finding the herbs, both of them then sat face to face, chatting.

I noticed with slight delight that Naruto's eyes brightened a bit. She was having fun.

"I forgot to ask this earlier. What is your name?" Naruto asked with slight enthusiasm, which I'm glad to notice.

At least that means she really put the suicide thought aside.

"Oh, how rude of me. My name is Haku."

"No last name?"

Haku shakes his head negative. I could hear the mirth in his voice. "No."

"I'm Naruto, Uzumaki Naruto."

"So, Naruto-san," he started, "You don't mind I call you that, do you?"

Naruto shook her head, silently saying that she doesn't mind. Haku then continued, "Are you a ninja? From the headband around your head, I guessed you were from Konoha."

Naruto nodded slowly. "Yes, I am. I'm a ninja from Konoha. Last night, I practiced here."

"I see… So is that why you were sleeping here?" the boy asked for confirmation. Naruto nodded then, slightly.

"Mmm… Did you train because you wanted to be strong?" Haku asked again. To my surprise, I saw both ends of Naruto's lips lifted around two millimeters, creating a very small smile.

"Yes, I did."

"May I know why?" Haku asked again. Truthfully, I never knew about her wanting to be strong. All I know is that she is like me, an orphan. She had wanted acceptance from her village, and she was abused beyond belief. So, I listened intently, wanting to know her reason. Why did she want to be strong?

The thought of her wanting to exact revenge on the village vividly crossed my mind.

"I… wanted to be a Hokage, the strongest person in my village, so I could gain the village's acknowledgement. So I won't be looked down upon. So …I can be proud of who I am."

That sentence makes my eyebrows rose considerably. I was surprised that she still wanted to be the Kage of a village that shunned her like that. A village that makes her lost her innocence. Even after everything that has happened to her, she still wanted to be strong _for_ the same village that made her life a living hell?

I was even more surprised that she still wanted that village to acknowledge her. I don't know if I should deem her an idiot or a just very, terribly, awfully, forgiving.

I didn't have such kindness, and it was proofed by my master.

"That's good, then," I heard Haku said, encouraging her and giving her a smile. If I don't remember that I'm not wearing my mask, I'll scream to them, _"No, that's not good! Why do you still want that damned village's acknowledgement?! You'll only hurt yourself like before!!"_

"Do you have a precious person, Naruto?" Haku asked again. Naruto nodded. I know that she was thinking of a brown-haired teacher, the first person ever to acknowledge him, and the old Hokage, who took care of her since she was small.

"Do you know what makes you stronger?" Haku asked. Before Naruto can answer, he continued, "When you have a precious person, so precious that you're willing to give up your life for the sake of protecting that person, it was then you'll truly becomes strong."

After those last words, Haku bid his goodbyes to the still stunned Naruto. I don't know what she was thinking then, but I know it has something to do with Haku's last sentence. I jumped from the tree where I was hiding to another tree away from Naruto's position.

It's not that I don't like it, but seeing Naruto's determined smile after she was no longer stunned, I get a feeling that she'll do something that will hurt her in the end.

I have to get my mask back from Zabuza's place…

* * *

"Leaving so soon?" I heard Zabuza's voice asked from the opened door behind me. I put my mask back at my face before turning to him.

I noticed the boy from earlier is standing beside him.

"Something happened," I said simply. I then strapped my sword at my back, before I took a pair of black, fingerless gloves that reached my mid upper arm, which matched perfectly with the sleeveless turtleneck shirt that I'm wearing.

"Oh? What was it?" he asked again. His tone lacked concern, only curiosity. I didn't answer, as I know that the Haku boy is listening.

He didn't know about me, or how I looked like without my mask. All he that he knows is that I'm a friend of his master. The only one knew about me and Naruto is only Zabuza, and I intend on keeping it that way.

Zabuza and his companion stood aside when I passed the door. After I passed by them, Zabuza seemed to notice a small bundle, wrapped in red, ragged cloth, on the washed-out cloth I used to wrap my belongings before.

"Oi, you left something there," Zabuza said as a matter of fact. Casually, he went over it and grabbed the pouch, opened it out of curiosity. Meanwhile, I watched him out at the corner of my eye.

"Whoa, you're rich. You even have more than twice of what Gatou paid me for this mission. Don't you glad that I noticed?" he said, and I could practically feel him grinning. He then held out the pouch to me. From the heavy jingle, it does seem plenty.

"Take it if you want," I said as I turned my head to see him. I feel no need of bringing another heavy weight with me but my sword. I usually put the pouch in the sleeve of my kimono top, but since I've lent it to Naruto, I have to put them in between my belongings.

It was a hassle.

I saw Zabuza raised his eyebrows in surprise, along with the boy, who walked to him to see the pouch too. I ignored their looks as I walked away from them.

For me, knowing why that child wanted acknowledgement from the very village that makes her life hell is more important than a few ryo.

* * *

_Glossary:_

_Memento Vivere :_ Remember to live (to the opposite of Memento Mori, I guess...)

* * *

**Sapphire09:** There you have it! Please give me your opinion of this story :)

Even a comment of how I'm progressing this story, or the flaws for the grammar, will be very appreciated. I need to know what I did wrong. (and for those who (maybe) wanted the chapters to be longer, I'm planning on it. It won't be a drastic change, though. Maybe from average 1,200 words to average 2,300 words, and it'll be gradually, not sudden. I'm working currently on it.)

Please review!!


	11. Chapter X : Who art thou?

**Sapphire09 :** ...Final Exam... T.T

Anyway, enjoy... *sits at a dark corner* *mumbling incoherently*

**

* * *

CHAPTER X**_  
Who art thou?

* * *

_

"Why, then, 'tis none to you; for there is nothing  
either good or bad, but thinking makes it so: to me  
it is a prison."

_- _Hamlet Act II Scene II _by_ William Shakespeare

* * *

"I really hate moonlights," I muttered soundlessly as I positioned myself into a comfortable position inside the shadows. I also need it to be done very silently or everything will only be a waste of time.

I feel really pathetic now.

I managed to get closer to that bridge-builder's house unnoticed, even though it cost me all day, but then the moon just had to come out, giving a clear position of where I was. From how Zabuza had regarded him, I knew that Konoha jonin is a strong and an alert one. If I dared to go closer in such bright light, I knew I'll be dead, despite the fact that he knew—or I hoped he'll knows—I meant no harm.

At least, that's how I think ninja with his caliber will do, anyway. Ninja from Kumo and Iwa, especially Kiri, are often like that. Still, better safe than sorry, right? Even so… the thought of me hiding in such a cramped place like this in the middle of the night still seemed pathetic to me.

Anyway, I guess to have perfect eyesight like I do is really handy, especially in pathetic situation like this. If I don't, I won't be able to notice a girl walking to my direction.

Under the moonlight, her blond hair shone even more brightly, like a pack of golden threads.

"You're there, aren't you?" I heard her voice rang familiarly into my ears. She glanced up to where I hide with her blue eyes that were sparkling, reflecting the light of tonight's bright moon. "I can see your hair, you know?"

Now I remember another reason why I hate moonlights; no matter what I do, my hair always seemed to reflect their light. Just like hers.

Knowing I was found out, I jumped down to the lowest branch before I sat down right at the middle of the branch. I see she frowned when I didn't land near her. She then used chakra to climb up and sat down at the same branch as me. I see she grinned at me when she managed to get to my side.

"When did you learn that?" I asked, not really curious. She is a genin, so of course she'll be taught that 'tree-climbing' sooner or later.

"Kakashi-sensei taught us before," she answered before she positioned herself in a comfortable position beside me.

"How'd you know I am here?" I asked again. Now, for this question I was genuinely curious. If anyone could ever found me, I thought that it'll be that jonin—Kakashi, was it?

Instead of answering, she looked at me. I raised my eyebrows even though I knew she won't be able to see it from my mask. I saw she sighed then. I questioned her gesture in my mind.

"It was more like a coincidence, really. The moon seemed beautiful, so I decided to take a stroll around. It was then I noticed your hair," she said. I then reached for a strand of my own gold-colored hair, inspecting it in silence. Was it really how she knew my location? I doubted it a bit.

"Hey," I heard her voice calling softly for my attention again.

"You should return," I said without waiting to hear what she had wanted to say. "Your team would be worried."

She made a face that showed her surprise, before it shifted to one that showed hesitation.

"Would they really?" she said, and I can feel bitterness flowing from that sentence. "I doubt it."

I didn't reply. Not because I don't want to, but because she didn't give me the time to reply.

"I'm stupid, I know that. I was a loser, back in academy, and still is. I know that very well. But, even a stupid person like me can see that they don't like me. I can see that from their eyes, especially ever since… they knew that I'm a girl," Naruto said before I could say anything.

I wasn't surprised. The citizen of Konoha wasn't a friendly lot, I've seen it. Who's to say their ninja won't be different? I can't even pretend myself to be surprised.

Still, I was hoping that her teammates would be different. At least, that way her feelings won't go to waste.

Suddenly, I heard she sighed loudly beside me.

"Oh, well. That's life, right?" she grinned as she said that. It wasn't a heartfelt grin, but it still radiated with warmth. I felt the warmth creeping inside my chest as I saw that grin. It was one of many expressions that she discarded after the night when she lost her most precious crown, her virginity, for the first time.

"Bad stuff happens every day, right? So, I can't whine about it. What happens happens. The least we can do is to face it head on, right?" she said again, but it felt like she was trying to assure herself about it.

"Right. And who would've thought that the one saying it had a thought of suicide days ago," I replied tonelessly. It was then I realized that maybe I'd offend her, especially with the tone I had used. It'll be different had I said it teasingly, even though I meant the same.

To my surprise, she laughed. Her laughing voice sounded like a thousand bells in my ears, ringing clearly through tonight's air.

It was the laugh I remembered in my childhood. It was her true laugh, the laugh that disappeared along with her hope and dream. It was the laugh that kept me from my insanity.

"You're totally right! Had anyone heard what I've said, they won't believe that I once thought of killing myself!" she said before she continued to laugh. I'm really thankful for my mask right now. I can't even imagine my expression right now. Petrified by surprise, I'm sure.

Without giving any warning, she suddenly jumped down from the branch we sat upon. She landed safely on her feet with an agility of one like a cat, if I should say. To be able to jump down from such height, only a ninja would be able to pull up such feat.

When she reached the ground, she looked back up, back at me, who was still sitting on the branch, hidden behind the leaves. Again, she gave me a grin, and this time her grin looks more… sincere. I think that the grin she showed me this time is the truest one she ever showed me.

Without any parting words, she averted her sight from me and instead aimed it to the way towards the bridge-builder's house. She then ran with a speed that can be considered as slow for a ninja, yet fast for a civilian. Soon, I can only see a glimpse of her golden locks, shining under tonight's unusually bright moonlight. I noticed another color of locks—grey, I think—about to come closer to where I hide. I could hear Naruto's call of 'Kakashi-sensei' from afar and her 'Nope! Nothing suspicious there! Checked it!' before both of them gradually disappeared from my view, swallowed by the darkness of tonight.

Slowly, I lifted my chin up towards the sky. The moon still shone brightly up there, clearly without any interference of the clouds.

I had been watching you for as long as I can remember… I've been watching the world through your eyes…

I knew the pain you had endured; I could understand it because I felt the pain too, every time I woke up…

Yet…

How did you able to smile such warm smile? Even when the world is against you, how can you keep it again?

When I lose my ability to do the same, I couldn't regain it again… But, why is it different for you?

I…

Was I… wrong?

Did I…

…overlooked something…?

* * *

**Sapphire09:** I've done this in a quite some time ago... Since I'm a little bit depressed then (and still is, even though for a different reason) I don't think this chapter comes out great... I can't even meet my words quota...

Now, let me sulk in my corner ...

*sob...* my final exam... *sob*


	12. Chapter XI : Himitsu

**DISCLAIMER : **I won't be writing this if I own it...

**Sapphire09 : **Sorry for the late update :)

Enjoy~

* * *

**CHAPTER XI**_  
Himitsu

* * *

_

_The cherry blossoms dance, falling into my empty hand.  
Ephemeral, gentle, and fragile, this flower that seems like you._ _The child who usually slips through the gates  
His eyes sparkling as he grabs something._ _And as for me, my empty days go on  
With a cold heart, I'm searching for the moment when the flowers fall, and I close my eyes._ _The cherry blossoms dance, falling into these empty hands  
Ephemeral, gentle, and fragile, this flower that seems like you**.**_

_- _Sakura Addiction, Takashi Kondo & Toshinobu Iida (English TV ver.)

* * *

After our conversation that day, I spied on Naruto's team even more, consequences be damned. I managed to get myself out of the Jounin's radar and get to see Naruto closer.

I need to find out what I had missed.

The dreams of her, I knew they were real. I knew what she had felt, and how bad she wanted to stop the pain. I knew her more than anyone else.

The pain she had to endure, the humiliation she had to face, and the torture she had to go through, I knew them all too well. In that village… everything just seemed to be against her.

So then, why…?

Why she still wanted, or even had the will, to protect that village?

Why is it that… even though she was already tainted by life… she was still so… _pure?_

At first, I had thought that she was no different than other unfortunate souls that were spread across the world. They seek for revenge in the name of justice. Those children… were consumed by their hatred which they call as duty.

There were some children, I knew, who thinks the futility of revenge and chooses to let the past be the past and look to the future. But, even they could no longer be pure. They can't go back to the way they were; children.

So how can she be so… pure? So trusting, like a child?

How can she shrug everything off, as if it was nothing?

I know that what she had gone through was everything but nothing.

The humiliation… The pain….

Even I was suffocated. And it was not I who went through it.

It seemed that my decision to look after you weren't for nothing, after all…

You really are interesting, Naruto-chan

* * *

The time that Zabuza had promised was reaching for its end. Soon, the mission that he was entrusted with must be carried out. I did ask for him to postpone it only for a week, and there was no reason for him to drag on even longer.

I watched as the team left the house, noticing that they were one person short. Confusion took over me as I realized Naruto was missing. As the team went for the bridge, together with that old man, I waited for a chance to sneak into the house.

Then, I noticed a couple of thugs. Gatou's men, I presumed. It seemed he finally decided to end the bridge builder's life without Zabuza's help anymore.

Both of the thugs headed to the house, taking hostages perhaps? Such a cowardly thing, I mused. The thought of helping the family had passed my mind, but then I decided to go against it. They didn't matter to me, after all.

I won't dirty my hands for something that is nothing to my gain.

However, curiosity once again took over me and made me to go closer to observe what they will be doing. It was then I finally realized the reason why Naruto didn't go together with her team. She overslept, yet in such a good time. She managed to make the thugs bend to their knees and render them unable to fight by brute force. It was a nice sight to see, especially since this is the first time I ever got to see her actually in power. She always seemed so weak and fragile in my dreams, and this is a welcomed change.

She just seemed to be getting more and more interesting by minutes.

After she left to catch up with her friends, I stayed around for a bit. Silently, I sneaked in to the house and went over the unarmed thugs without the knowing of those who were in the house. I knelt over them and watched them squirmed under me.

"W-Who?" one of them asked weakly. I smirked under my mask. They had given me quite a show, but still the fact that they had tried to harm Naruto lingered. Not even that, I saw a glimpse of lust just when they realized the one they fought was a girl.

I disliked it.

"Please, stay quiet," I whispered to them before I took out my blade and slit their throat in one clean cut, rendering them even unable to comprehend what just happened. I watched in satisfaction and blood pooling beneath their bodies and their heartbeats slowed down before completely disappeared.

I felt the need to cover up their blood, yet I had no obligation to do so. It might scare them, but I decided to leave both of the dead thugs to the bridge-builder's family. Looking back, I then followed Naruto's path back to the bridge.

I arrived just in time to see a dome made of ice and a thick layer of fog surrounding the bridge. This is Zabuza's mission, I realized from my hiding spot. Out of my respect for him as a fellow swordsman, I left his battle with Kakashi alone. I kept my eyes open only for Naruto, who was inside the dome made of ice together with that foolish boy. I noticed their bodies were covered with needles, but it seemed none of them truly hit their vital spot. Why, I myself could not comprehend.

However, they seemed to be in a pinch. I then noticed the masked boy was about to throw another needles towards Naruto. I saw where he aimed, that was all it took me to realized what he was about to do. He wanted to put Naruto into a death-like state.

As long as she lives, I could care less. So, I only watched.

But then, the needles missed their target and instead of Naruto, it was the foolish boy instead. I was taken by surprise once I witnessed it. That boy, that foolish boy, had taken the damage for Naruto.

As the boy's knees were shaken as he tried to keep himself up, I saw how Naruto looked at him. It was a look of pure terror, also surprise. Her lips parted and her mouth agape. She was stunned just like me.

Everything seemed to be in a slow motion as my vision began to overlap with her vision.

"_Why…"_ I feel my lips moved on their own, the sensation I already used to, even if in dreams. I saw that foolish boy right in front of me—of _her_, looking back to me—to _her_. I noticed his eyes held bitter amusement and also a slight confusion and I also noticed his lips were forming a small smirk.

"_My body… moved… on its own_," the boy said, making confusions and disbelief mixed wildly inside my—no, _her—_heart. The vision of that boy fell right in front of me kept intruding my mind, as well as _her_ sensation, her feeling which also flowed to me.

This is very rare, I thought. This usually happened only when I was asleep. This is the first time this happened when I was wide awake.

Alas, it already happened.

I could feel her emotion going haywire, from confusion to disbelief, later sadness and then hate.

It was then I felt that horrible chakra, as I was suddenly snapped back to myself.

I saw her again, noting the look of anger on her face. Red chakra surrounded her, destroying the dome of ice that once trapped her. I was shaking unconsciously from the fear. I _feared_ that malicious red chakra, I noted absently. Only later that I realized it came from Naruto, my little flower.

So many surprises in one day… Is there more secret that defined you?

I wonder what you are going to show me now, I thought as I saw red chakra mixed with wind swirling around her. Such malicious intent, such frightening chakra!

And it was because she thought that foolish boy died?

That boy… who was he to make you feel like this, my little flower?

You, who had forgiven those villagers for what they did to you, could feel hate towards those who harmed your...less than friends?

…Why?

And that boy, I mused, didn't deserve such attention from you. I didn't forget his foolish attitude. From what I could see, that boy is a self-centered child. He should be a boy who cared for himself, who could forget the other's existence.

So, again, …why?

How could you had the will to protect those who had done nothing for you, who made you sad, who _hated_ you…?

My little flower…

Are there more secrets of yours that you buried deep, out of my knowledge?

That red chakra… Is that also a part of you? A part of a big secret you buried?

Or was it the secret of the village, buried deep even from your knowledge?

A secret known by everyone but you, hidden away as if you don't deserve to know…

A secret which should be told from a long time ago…

* * *

**Sapphire09: **please tell me what you think!


	13. Chapter XII : Reigning Darkness

**DISCLAIMER: **Nope, still don't own it.

**Sapphire09: **Longer chapter since it has been too long since I last updated... I hope you still read this... Please forgive for the inconvenience...

**Warning: **Possible grammar errors and OOC-ness, but I'm pretty sure you already know that...

**

* * *

CHAPTER XII**_  
Reigning Darkness

* * *

_

_In this world abandoned by God_

_Set loose by the dance of the wind flowers, awakened by the melting snow, the light shines_

_All life that is born (is destroyed) is a flower blooming in a snowy field_

_A tiny flower in a miniature garden_

_Just like a white illusion, trembling in the breeze_

_- _Hanakisou – Flower Return Burial – Opening Theme (Translation)

* * *

The malicious, red chakra still spiraling around Naruto's figure, whipping around madly like a dance of a whirlwind. Such frightening chakra…

Who would've thought that she would have such power inside such fragile body?

I took notice of her eyes then. Her eyes, her once clear blue eyes, the bluest in the color of the bright sky, now turned to mad red, color of copper and rust. Her pupils were no longer her usual dots of black; instead they were black slits, not unlike one of animals. The marks on both of her cheeks seemed more viewable, more defined, and thicker than before, giving her a feral look.

Her expression was one I've never seen before either. Her expression, her hurt, mixing with her anger and hate, created an expression of an angry animal filled with blood lust. In her eyes, only the masked boy existed. In her mind—despite not being able to feel or read it now, I know from her expression—there only exist the thought to _kill_.

Somehow, the thought of her reason, the cause of this anger of her was actually that foolish boy made me to feel an uncomfortable sensation in my chest. Why, I ask. Why would you get angry for his death? Why weren't you angry when it was about yourself? What had the boy done to you, to make you feel such anger?

I watched as she lunged with speed that I never knew she had. The shock-wave was enough to make vibrations around the ice mirrors surrounding them. The chakra inside her seemed to grew stronger in every of her movement, every second of her heartbeat. The force of that red chakra…was more than enough to shatter the ice mirrors and to repel the rain of needles that come to her.

I felt like I no longer knew her.

But… did I really know her?

I couldn't move from where I watched. My feet felt so heavy and I couldn't move them. The heavy mist did nothing to hide the malice in her red chakra, and my eyes could not stray away from the fight.

I watched as she destroyed the mirrors that held her prisoner, as she moved towards the asked boy, as she destroyed that mask of his. She lunged towards him and about to give the last blow, as it was clear who would win. But then, she stopped.

I watched her face contorted into one of a surprise upon finding out the real identity of her enemy. In that minute, I felt light again. The malicious aura that once wrapped her began to dissipate as her anger tuned to shock and disbelief, and I could hear myself breathing. I could move my feet again.

"What… had happened?" I muttered softly, no louder than wind's whisper. I swallowed my own saliva as I tried to calm myself. I moved away from my hiding place then, with the help of the heavy mist Zabuza had created. I'm sure that my little flower will be fine, and I need time to regain my calm. I tried to shift my attention to Zabuza's fight instead. I was quite curious on why the mist seemed to get thinner with seconds passed.

When I looked, I was surprised to find him being held down by dogs of various sizes that seemed to come out off the ground.

Zabuza had never been a weak ninja. No, far from it. I knew his ability far surpassed a mere jounin. There was a reason why he was called a 'Demon of the Mist', and why he was one of the Seven Swordsmen of the Mist. That's why I was very surprised to find him in such state.

'_Hatake Kakashi… Who is he exactly?'_ I thought with narrowed eyes. He couldn't be mere jounin, no. He is far from 'just a jounin'. Perhaps, it had something to do with why Zabuza seemed to see him as an opponent that shouldn't be underestimated?

I then heard the sound of birds, a thousand of them, chirping together, creating an uncomfortable sound to my ears. I then saw a ball of lightning by the joinin's palm, crackling loudly and dangerously, as if he held the power of the Lightning God in his hand.

The sound somehow hurts my ears, even though I'm not that close to the source of the noise. I was far from the source, but how come the sound hurts me so?

I tried to block the noise by covering both of my ears with my palms. My eyes unconsciously darted to where Naruto was, to see her condition so far. The dispersing mist did nothing to make it harder. Has she killed the boy yet, I thought. I hoped not.

She was too pure to be tainted in blood.

But suddenly, it happened again.

My vision was once again overlapped with hers. I saw the face of the boy my little flower had fought, the boy with name of white, in front of me. His eyes that seemingly see nothing, reminiscing the past, seemed to trouble me—no, her. I, on the other hand, knew that I could care less.

"_Why do you hesitate?_" he said in monotone. I feel my—her—legs moved away from him, taking a few steps back. I—_she_—bit my—_her_— lower lip and let out a growl from the back of my—_her_—throat.

"_That's the most ridiculous story I've ever heard!"_ I—no, my little flower exclaimed, as if in denial of something. "_He treated you like a slave!_ _You're a human being! Not a weapon or a tool! How can you care about someone like that!"_

The words were spoken in hidden denial, I realized. Was there something, deep inside her heart, where I could not reach?

"…_When he found me, I was without a purpose, nor a reason for living. Zabuza… he gave me both. But now… my usefulness is over, the only thing that gave my life meaning. It's gone… I'm a broken tool, unwanted weapon of no use to anyone. So…do it. Do it now… quickly, for both of our sake…"_

She was hesitating, and was torn. I know that she still thought that the foolish boy had died, and the hatred for his killer wasn't something that could disappear instantly, no matter the reason. But, at the same time, I could feel a sense of kinship in her with that boy in front of her.

Still… that sense of denial, from where did it come from? Just what is it that she denies…?

Before I can find out more, I was back to the hiding place where I had been standing before. My neck was frozen in place, which was about to turn to the direction of Naruto's field of fight.

'_Twice…_' I thought. It was the second time I saw through Naruto's eyes, and I wasn't sleeping either. No, I have been wide awake. Shock and realization overwhelmed my being for a few moments, as my mind was filled with thoughts of my recent experience. I shook my head then, thinking that I shouldn't dwell on it this time. I straightened my neck then, blinking, before I tried to find their figures behind the thinning mist.

But, instead I find Naruto stood alone, the boy was nowhere to be seen. Confused, I darted my eyes towards Zabuza again.

I found the boy blocked the jounin's attack with his body, saving Zabuza from his doom. His chest was impaled by the jounin's hand, the ball of lightning still visible, but dissipating, behind the boy's back. The mirror he used was shattering to thousands of pieces,

I couldn't even start to be surprised.

I already have foreseen it, if anything of this case should ever happen. The boy's loyalty, as far as I can see in the time I know of him, was a blind loyalty. It was a kind of loyalty that cares for nothing of oneself, but everything of the other.

A kind of loyalty I think I can never have.

I turned back to Naruto then, who was walking closer to see more clearly of the scene, since I was curious of her reaction. Like I thought, she had a sad expression, mixed with confusion and surprise. But—

If she was confused, why was there an understanding in her eyes?

I turn to Zabuza's fight again, wanting to know how he will react upon losing his tool, or such he called the boy as. The Konoha jounin's arm was held by the dying boy with his last bit of strength, preventing the jounin from jumping away from the incoming attack. I can see Zabuza intended to cut through the boy to reach the konoha jounin, as if the boy was really nothing but a tool.

And at that time, I know that was really what he thought. A treasure he might have been, but still a tool.

"You are so foolish," I said softly, flat and detachedly. A mere saying whose recipient was ambiguous. Whether it was for the boy or for Zabuza, only I shall know.

The jounin jumped while taking the corpse of the boy with him, laying him down by the side of the bridge carefully in respect before he closed the eyes that were widely opened in pain when his arm got right through him. When I saw the eyes of the gray-haired jounin narrowed as he looked up towards Zabuza, I knew he didn't like how Zabuza treated his companion.

I must say I was quite surprised when Naruto didn't say anything upon how Zabuza treated the boy. But, it was only for a slight; since if the understanding in her eyes weren't an illusion, then she must also understand that the boy could care less on how Zabuza will treat him in his death.

She should know whatever she said won't change it.

In the midst of it, I was annoyed when the female teammate of Naruto called out to her. She then asked of the foolish boy's condition and why he wasn't with her. Naruto didn't say anything, but she did regard the pink-haired child's call to her. As logic would say it, she knew something was wrong, and with the old man's encouragement, she ran towards where the foolish boy was laid, seemingly dying when he was merely in trance-like sleep. She tried to hold her tears, remembering the rule that shinobi must follow.

But alas, she was still a child.

I turn to my little flower again, to see that she still stood like a statue as the jounin rendered Zabuza's both arm useless. It was at that time I noticed that Gatou, the tyrant that had reigned over the Land of Wave and wished for the head of the old man my little flower is protecting, was coming.

With an army of thugs he had no problem of paying behind him, Gatou marched on closer to the battlefield. I, who was watching from the sidelines, still surprisingly covered and none have noticed my presence just yet.

I didn't quite hear the words, but from what I got from reading their lips, I come to the conclusion that Zabuza and the jounin have decided on a truce, since Gatou didn't seem to be keen on keeping him alive.

The tyrant then walked closer to the body of the boy with the name of white, shaming the corpse and kicked his cold face, and all was done right in front of Zabuza and Naruto. The corpse was treated as if it was a garbage, and I think Naruto shouldn't like it much.

Naruto's action was one I must say, surprising. She walked towards Zabuza's back, stopping when she was only at arm's length with him. Even that was because the jounin held her. If not, maybe she will go closer. Curious at what she will do, I tried to come closer.

But it doesn't seem necessary, as I can feel sudden rush of emotion within me, and found Zabuza's back right in front of me. My one arm was held by someone behind me, preventing me from going forward.

"_You aren't going to do anything?"_ I feel my lips moving, yet what came out was my little flower's voice, said calmly as if she was asking a matter of fact. _'Again?'_ I thought. But, it doesn't seem my emotions are important as of now, since her emotion felt much more amplified than my own. Or…has it always been this way, every time I see through her eyes?

"_Be quiet, fool. Haku is dead, what does it matter?"_ Zabuza replied. His tone indicated that it was the truth, and it is the truth. But, Naruto won't stop talking, and the rush of emotion felt so uncomfortable to me. It made me wonder, how can she talk this calmly? This mixed emotions of anger, disappointment, disbelief, yet understanding and also frustration and sadness… it made me want to yell and cry out, screaming and kicking if needed.

"_So he didn't matter?"_ my lips moved again, and the voice was still calm, almost challenging in fact.

"_You don't understand the way of shinobi,"_ Zabuza answered, his tone indicated as if he was talking to a naïve child, _"I merely used his just as Gatou used me. But now, it's over. His usefulness has reached an end. The loss of his strength and skill means something to me. But, the boy… Nothing."_

"_Even after he lived for you?_" my lips said in firmer tone, a little bit more forceful that the previous calm tone. A memory passed then, about when she met the boy back in the woods, when he asked whether there was someone she considered precious, when he talked about the person he considered precious. It came to me more as a feeling rather than an image or voice. Like a déjà vu.

"_You were the most precious thing for him. Yet for you he still meant nothing at all?"_ now, the voice that came out was shaking slightly, yet still calm, but like in a verge of crying. Another memory passed, still more as a feeling. It was when Naruto fought the boy, I think.

"_While he was sacrificing so much for you… You feel nothing?" _I can feel something wet trailing down to my cheek then, yet the voice still came out as firm as before. My—her—head was bowed down low, so I don't think anyone saw the tears.

"_He threw his life away for the sake of you and your dreams. Your dream was his dream," _the tears dripped down to the concrete floor. One drip, then two. But the voice was showing no sign of crying. I wonder how she did it…

"_Yet for you, he was nothing but a broken tool…,"_ now the voice that came out was softer, not as firm as before. My head then straightened and I looked straight at his back. The tears felt more real now as they trailed down my cheek no more in drips. I felt my lips twitched upwards on both side, creating a small, sad smile for everyone to see.

"_Kanashii yo ne…"_

_Aah_… _Is that so…?_

Now I understand the reason why she still wanted to protect that village….

But still, it hurts her, and I don't like that….

But who am I to tell her otherwise? I'll only kill her if I do…

Yeah, I'll only kill her, in the most painless, yet most painful way possible…

* * *

**Vocabulary:**

_"Kanashii yo ne..."_ : I suppose it means "It's sad, isn't it?" or something along those lines. But I'm not so sure... Please tell me if I'm wrong.

**Sapphire09:** Please tell me what you think!


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